The SEEK Podcast
Welcome to the SEEK Podcast – we're so glad you’re here. This podcast is a place of community, collaboration, and inspiration, created to invite and encourage you deeper into a relationship with Jesus. Join these podcasters and many others as we encounter Jesus at SEEK25, Jan 1st-5th. For more information and to register, visit seek.focus.org.
The SEEK Podcast
Navigating Life's Trials with a Missionary Mindset: Like A Mother x SEEK
Join us as we explore the profound impact of a missionary mindset on faith, motherhood, and the transformative experiences at SEEK. This episode delves into how a life dedicated to witness and evangelization can profoundly shape families and communities, inspired by the heroic example of St. Joan of Arc. Listen as we discuss the challenges and joys of living out faith with courage and conviction, highlighting the unique roles that women play in both faith and society. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that celebrates the power of a missionary spirit in everyday life.
Register for SEEK: seek.focus.org
Welcome to the Seek Podcast, where we explore faith, inspire hope and build community. My name is John Michael Lucido and I'm excited to invite you to join us this season as we dive into topics about the faith with people from all over the Catholic world. Thank you for listening to today's episode. Know that we are praying for you.
Speaker 2:This is an OSV Podcast Network production. To learn more, visit osvpodcastcom.
Speaker 3:This is Like a Mother with Katie McGrady the podcast that brings you honest conversations about motherhood the ins, the outs, the ups, the downs, the realities, the joys, the struggles, the pains, the moments where we think I can't, the pains, the moments where we think I can't do this and the moments where we rejoice that we are doing it, and everything in between. I'm your host, katie McGrady. We are so happy you're here. From a really early age I've noticed and recognized the remarkable value of a church that gathers and I say that because really from probably middle school on, my parents brought us to a lot of church things, whether it was Alpha yes, my Catholic parish in Lake Charles, louisiana, was one of the first Catholic parishes in the world to incorporate the Alpha program. Long before they even had Catholic resources, we were adapting them large scale at the Burton Coliseum, which is right down from the airport that I now drive to multiple times a month to go out and speak at conferences, just like the one I went to as a kid, or Steubenville conferences, the Eucharistic Congress this past summer, or and the one that we're talking a little bit about today on the show, the SEEK conference. A little bit about today on the show.
Speaker 3:The SEEK conference Now. Every large gathering is pretty unique. They have their own style, their own flair, their own focus, no pun intended, and I think that's actually a really good thing. Whether it was an event with 50 people, whether it was an event with 50 people, an event with 500, 5,000, 50,000, no church event or church gathering or conference or retreat or summit, or give the name that you want, is ever the same, because no group of people is ever the same. There is a unique quality to every gathering, based upon the people who have come together, the talks and the topics and everything that's explored and the way the Holy Spirit moves in that particular space and place. For the past few years, there's been a gathering organized and led by FOCUS, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students. That truly has been remarkable to watch grow.
Speaker 3:For a long time, I watched the SEEK conference happen from afar. Most of the time when SEEK was unfolding, I was up in Pennsylvania with my family celebrating Christmas with my husband's side of the family and our kids. In 2023, I had the incredible opportunity to get to go with my little sister, who's now in the convent so another story for another day, but it was just so great that we got to spend time together on this epic road trip to and from St Louis Missouri and really see unfold before the both of us this gathering of young adults, of people committed in their parishes, of men and women who just wanted to grow in their faith in a really particular and dynamic way, recognizing that our love of Jesus is not something that we can contain or keep quiet or hide away in our lives, but that so much of our lives needs to be focused on Christ. And here, at the beginning of the calendar year, what a perfect opportunity to lean into the gift of the gathering, to be able to sit in a stadium, walk through a convention center, wander through a downtown pop into a restaurant, hang out in a hotel lobby and look around and see not just like-minded individuals, but see people who are pursuing the gospel, not just people that I would agree with on an intellectual level, but people who want the same thing I'm hungry for holiness.
Speaker 3:Osv and Focus are collaborating on today's episode of Like a Mother, to not just talk about the Sikh conference, because we want you to buy a ticket and go, but to talk about the way that the Sikh conference has really impacted one particular mother's life, to talk about the ministry and the efforts of Focus and really how a missionary mindset in life, a desire to pursue holiness, a desire to be unafraid in giving visible witness to our faith, how that, yes, impacts an individual on their own but actually shapes and forms a family, actually shapes and forms a family, helps a mother navigate the ups and the downs, the ins and the outs of moments of motherhood that are maybe challenging, or moments of motherhood that are just insanely joyful, moments of motherhood that at times we can't quite make sense of on our own. Kelsey Scoach has been involved with Focus at kind of every level for a number of years and she talks about her experience in today's episode. Has spoken at the SEEK Conference, has brought her family to the SEEK Conference, and so from the perspective of motherhood, from the perspective of managing a home, from the perspective of this is what a life of ministry and then a life of motherhood fused together in a really unique and beautiful way, what that not just looks like, but how that and I mean this sincerely how that impacts the culture, impacts the world, how that can change the world around us for the better. We're super excited that we had the chance to partner with our Sunday Visitor and Focus for this particular episode. It's a special collaboration. It'll live on both podcast feeds and so we're so excited that we've probably got some new folks listening to the show. For the first time, we have honest conversations about motherhood with amazing folks moms and dads and nuns and priests and everybody who, of course, has been touched by moms, because we all have one, and today's episode is really just a fantastic one talking about moms and ministry, the SEEK conference, focus, all of it. I'm absolutely certain I know you're going to love this conversation about moms and ministry and the SEEK conference with Kelsey's coach. Thank, yeah, I had heard about them.
Speaker 3:So I came home from UD for something like I think it was like a break or something. Ud was only six hours away from Lake Charles and that's why I chose it, because I could come home on the weekends if I really wanted to, didn't have a car, have to find a ride, but I wanted, like I wanted to be able to pop up. And I came home and there was something at the college here with focus missionaries, and so I went, like I went with a friend of mine from high school and immediately like rushed back to UD's campus and was like begging the campus minister, begging all the people like can we please bring focus to campus? And kind of got shut down. I was like that bright eyed, bushy tailed freshman that was going to solve all the problems. I feel like that. That's. There's a certain personality type that gets involved in ministry and that type A was definitely me. But you just mentioned a second ago. You didn't know anything about focus until they just like appeared.
Speaker 4:I mean, you were a world ahead of me. My freshman year. I had just come back to the church, end of high school, and I came in being like I'm a Catholic now. So I was going to mass, doing all the retreats, but I had no bigger horizon than that and of course, you know, joining a sorority, getting very immersed in the party culture. I was at the University of Kansas and so for me my Catholicism was really wrapped into like, oh, I go to Sunday mass, I'm doing so much better than everyone else. So that was really what it encapsulated.
Speaker 4:But my junior year, as I had continued to grow in my faith and kind of finally end of my sophomore year, hit a very rock bottom moment, was like I need to figure out a way to live my faith fully, I need to root all of this other stuff out of my life.
Speaker 4:But I have no idea what I'm doing or how to do it and I like prayed for a way to do that. And then my junior year focused missionaries like something I had never really existed appeared on my campus and I had heard that they are here to walk with students and help them live out their faith and encourage them. And of course, at the time in my sorority I was like I'd love to have some of my sorority sisters, you know, doing this with me so I'm not alone. And so they're like oh, we even do Bible studies in sororities. Sign me up. So yeah, I walked up to a missionary and basically was like hi, I want to stop drinking underage. I want to start living out my faith fully. I also want to start a Bible study in my sorority. Can you help me do this? And I'm pretty sure the missionary was like well, yeah, this is literally what we hope happens.
Speaker 4:Yeah that's not the normal missionary experience. Yeah, but that was what happened with me.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. So I want to go back to that moment. I mean, we're obviously going to talk about motherhood and ministry and especially the conference with kids, which I deeply admire. People after having brought kids to the Eucharistic Congress this summer, I'm like I like leaving my babies at home, mostly because I'm like pulled in 10 different directions. We're going to talk about all of that, but I want to go back to this moment of you walk up to a missionary and you say this is what I desire. And you said this isn't the normal experience for a focused missionary. You then become a focused missionary. What is the normal experience for those of us on the outside looking in, who see the impact and see the fruits when you're in it? What was that like and how do you think that formed you for the ministry you get to do now?
Speaker 4:Yeah, of course I think it really depends on which student you encounter, also what campus culture you're encountering, right Like it's been so fun over the years to work with multiple campuses and just kind of see what type of students they each foster. They're all so unique in all their little nuances. And then you go into a campus and then every single student is so unique and I think that's what the fun aspect of working in ministry is and being a missionary particularly is is because you get to figure out that I mean you fail a lot. You walk up to a student and you think, oh, this type of bubbly interaction is going to help win them into some kind of conversation, and then it just falls flat. So it really just depends on the student, I would say more often than not.
Speaker 4:I worked my first two years on first year campuses. So University of Oklahoma, my first year as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed missionary it was the first time focus had come to that campus and then, when I became a leader team director, my next year at Oklahoma State again first year campus, figuring it out, and so I got to really get a taste, for you have some students who are in your like in your case, who've been begging focus to come on campus and are just so excited for you to finally be there. And then you have students who maybe aren't as excited, they're not really sure what you're about to change and what they're used to on campus, and then I'd say the majority of students have no idea who you are, um, and many of which couldn't care less. Like they, like you need to really show them. Why do they? Why should they care? And honestly, I don't know if they should care that you're a focused missionary.
Speaker 4:I think in any interaction I'd say majority of missionaries would say this I am there to love these students. I am there to, first and foremost, like, be their friend, and I think a lot of us would say that's our motivation for even becoming a missionary is we had an experience on college, in college, in which we didn't feel like we had someone there, who, who did really care about us for for that, first and foremost. And then then, when we're we're in that friendship and relationship, it's only natural to say, hey, we're really good friends. I have something that has transformed my life and I'd love to tell you about it. I'd love to show you about it. I mean, and it is a very much.
Speaker 4:Choose your own adventure, right? Like, hey, if you're interested in being in Bible study because this is what I'm doing, awesome. If they're like, no, thanks, there's so many other things you can invite them to on campus that it doesn't have to start there. But if it does, if they're actually interested in that, you can start there. And then, of course, as they're in Bible studies, you can say, hey, I'm going to go deeper with some students and really teach them how to pray and how to do these things in their life and live morally. Is that something you're interested in? They can say yes or no, and so it is very much. Every student experience is so vastly different, and that's it's such a gift to be able to work with so many different people with that.
Speaker 3:I love that the motivation is friendship and accompaniment, because that is a hard thing to find in college.
Speaker 3:I mean, there's now this joke that you can make as a woman in my mid 30s I'm like, yeah, my friends are all wrapped up in like my, my work, my kids' school, because that's where you see people Like friends are often made around, like the proximity and like being around one another.
Speaker 3:Or like I've got friends all over the country but we only get to hang out with each other at conferences or at events where we all happen to be and it's we soak it all in at that time. But college is kind of this you know you have these ready-made opportunities to meet people and so much of your college experience is determined by kind of that first group of people that you meet and that first group of people that you stick around with. How did you find, was it, were you the personality type where it was like, yes, like I'm in it to make these friends, or was? Were there times where it was like it was hard for you as a missionary because you've been rebuffed so many times, or or because it was like, yeah, there's this resistance, or like I don't know if I'm going to know these people beyond these four years, like like, take us into that experience for you personally, of course.
Speaker 4:I think it would depend on the day. Uh, I I consider myself an outgoing introvert, so in conversations and maybe at dance parties, you're going to be like whoa, that girl has energy, but I just want to be home doing a puzzle, right Like my inner heart. In terms of what I prefer is a much quieter evening, even into motherhood. I think my husband and I had a conversation where I was kind of mourning the loss of singlehood at times and I was trying to think of, like, what do I like to do for fun? And he was asking this question and I wrote down a list. And I was trying to think of, like what do I like to do for fun? And he was asking this question and I wrote down a list.
Speaker 4:It's like my favorite hobbies were golfing, skiing, painting and puzzle, like doing puzzles. And I was like all of these are solitary activities, most of which take hours out of your day and are very expensive and they just they're not feasible to do, especially when pregnant and with littles. And then it was like, oh no, I have to recreate who I am by like, what do I like to do? What I used to like to do, I can't maybe participate into the same extent. So all that to say is is as a missionary, I think that came into play a lot too. Yes, I can be outgoing and I can hang out with all the students and I do think there is, for me personally, an energy that comes from those interactions.
Speaker 4:But I also really had to balance my schedule and make sure that I was taking time first and foremost for prayer. That was like how I started every day and that's still how I like to start every day is try to enter into my day first with some quiet and then I think that's why we send missionaries, hope, around the Campus 2 and 2, two women and two men to really lean on your teammates, because there are going to be so many times where you get flat out rejected, or you go to Bible study and no one shows up, or you have just a really overwhelming conversation and you and you don't know what to where to take that. And obviously an overwhelming conversation you take first to Jesus and a lot of those struggles you should first take to Jesus. But to have someone I don't know, my, my female teammates and I you know we get ice cream or just kind of I don't know do silly things in the kitchen or some way to kind of shake off all of that that I don't know weight that you might feel.
Speaker 4:And um yeah. So I'd say I'd say teammates helping me out of that and then making sure I had an ordered schedule, which took some time. That doesn't instantly happen, but you kind of learn your limits, as anyone does. You kind of say, okay, I very much overpushed myself that day or went way too crazy and need to scale it back for sure.
Speaker 3:I love that comment of you become a mom and all of the experiences in life like lead up to this moment where all of a sudden, they hand you a baby and it like I have to take this home, like this is mine, like no training, there's no training. Sometimes I'm shocked, I'm like this is, this is how the human species is propagated, like people who have no idea what they're doing. Getting the first one, and god love firstborn children because they are our guinea pigs. As a firstborn who is, you know, now raising essentially myself, it's always fascinating to think like, oh man, I'm making all my mistakes with her, maybe the same way I was.
Speaker 3:You know, I was used for a bunch of different mistakes. We're all just kind of learning this together. But I want to hone in on that like, do I have to recreate myself? Did you find that you had to? Or that as a mom? Yes, there is a recreation, to be sure, but there's also like no, but all these other things that I've done and then I've learned that I've experienced are forming, formed me for this vocation, for this precise moment.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think there can be a real temptation in motherhood to basically be in a hard position, whether mentally, emotionally, whatever and think, well, this is just how it is and I just need to like put my blinders on, just like power through until I get to the other side. And then the other side is where I can almost recreate my singlehood in motherhood and like be that same person. And I think there's a moment in which I came to and realized, no, I can change my circumstance to some extent. Right, like there are gonna be crosses and sacrifices that come with motherhood, which end up being a gift overall because they strip us of our selfishness and the things that need, and it hurts so good, but I would say the moment.
Speaker 4:I think there was a moment in which I personally, let's go back, like I don't like to go to a park with my kids by myself. That to me, isn't, isn't something I'm like, can't wait to do that, but I will go to a park with my kid, with another mom and her kids. That elevates the experience tenfold and I'm still engaging with my children. Um, that elevates the experience tenfold and I'm still engaging with my children, but for any, if there's just that camaraderie, the hey, the teammate aspect that I think I personally really enjoy, and so I'll.
Speaker 4:I would be texting a whole bunch of mom friends like who's available today? Let's go to this park. All rejected, right Like six moms one kid's sick, one kid has this other event, one kid's got to you know tennis, who knows? But valid excuses. They're not rejecting me, but they have real things happening in their life and my instant thing was to kind of get a pity party and be like, well, no one wants to hang out.
Speaker 4:Like I'm alone, I like everything's terrible and that. And then I just had to go okay, let's go down the list. Who are the next six moms that I could text out? And there's a resilience there that I see, like I grew in of recognizing, like no, I can sit here and have my pity party and not go anywhere, or go to the park alone, or I can continue to see what else is out there, and I do think being a missionary maybe prepared me for a little bit of that, but ultimately it was just deciding.
Speaker 4:You know, I am not a victim of my circumstances.
Speaker 4:There is a way that I can experience this motherhood in a way that works for me, and I've had to do that so many different times in my motherhood.
Speaker 4:I now have four kids, but they were six, five, three and two, and so they kind of came one after another and, god willing, we'll have more.
Speaker 4:But it's one of those experiences where you have to figure out in each season of life and sometimes I hate that phrasing, but in each season of life there has to be a question of okay, is this, you know, to the best extent working for us and for our family, and what else could I be doing to help improve my emotional experience of this? Because I think motherhood is an emotional rollercoaster and asking those questions and recognizing can I can do this. And so I have to your first question of reinventing myself. I don't think I have intentionally reinvented myself. I think I've embraced the changes that have happened to me. I am a different person because I am a mother and I can fight that so that I can still become the person I used to be, or actually lean into that and allow those transformations to then, like, help me discover new things that I actually really enjoy and get excited about and and love.
Speaker 3:So yeah, that's what I would say. I find too that when moms don't try to isolate that part of ourselves from other parts of our life so in, you know, in the capacity that maybe we're talking like professionally, if I try to like say, like, pretend I'm not a mom when I'm on the radio, it doesn't work, like I can't do it, like I can't separate those two parts of myself In ministry. I find that even in like speaking to teenagers or to young adults, there's almost sometimes this hesitation of, well, I don't want to tell a kid's story because they might not relate to it.
Speaker 1:But, then if.
Speaker 3:I realize that, no, but when I do, actually maybe tell that kid's story or like talk about something from the perspective of motherhood, they can experience that aspect of my life, but then also maybe think about their own mom or think about the Blessed Virgin Mary. Like it's it informs you were a missionary and a mom at the same time. Did you notice that happening? Like was it hard at parts of of of that? Or at what point did you realize, oh, this, this works. Like this is working. Like all of this integrated me as Kelsey, the mom, kelsey the wife, kelsey, the, the focus missionary. Like this is who I am and this is who God's made me to be.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think, yeah, that transition into motherhood. If, for any, moms are listening, they they can relate. But there's a moment where everyone has known you before that experience and then now you're you in their minds. You are the same person, but with a baby, and and you are feeling completely different with a baby.
Speaker 4:Yeah, exactly You're like.
Speaker 4:You don't know who I am and I also don't know who I am and I don't know how to communicate that to you so that you can.
Speaker 4:You know, there was no 92nd version for me to run it down for you Um, and because time then becomes so limited in in so many ways that you, you can't do that for every person in your life and um, so, yeah, I would say, especially as a missionary, and especially when, as a missionary, you you know so many people deeply, you've had so many deep conversations and and and moments and experiences with mission trips and and conferences and things like that, and then all of a sudden, you're, yeah, the same person with a baby, but not really inside. I think that that was the bigger transition for me my speaking and things like that and what I would do, kind of what you said, like the stories I would share it's it's like you have to be yourself and so you have to be authentically you. And I do think maybe the first couple of years, all of my stories stayed outside of the realm of kids, because I was still trying to figure out what that looked like in my own life.
Speaker 4:And it's kind of like I actually, when I got married, I made my last name my middle name because there was kind of an identity. Yeah, there was like an identity with it. And now, seven years in, I look at that and I go I mean I'm okay that I did that. I still love my maiden name, but I don't feel that connection as much as I did once. And I think there's a beauty in that slow transition to separate from yourself and into motherhood. Because if it is an ambush like you're a mother now and everything must change, but yeah, I think in transition I had to really slowly integrate who I am as a mother.
Speaker 4:And then those conversations do come. You know, you find those times with certain people to communicate who you are now and who you are today. And then I did have to. Maybe I wouldn't, I wasn't dramatic, like I didn't lose friends in any way, but there were friendships that you just didn't have the same amount of time to to connect with all of them. And I have seen the Lord really bless me in allowing some of those relationships be reconnected in a different time in life, whether it's they get married and become a mom, and then there's a little bit more relatability there, or they live closer to me, you know, in a situation, and so then we get to just connect. So I think all of that has kind of been my experience.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I, I want to talk. You mentioned you know all the things that you do as a missionary now you're doing them as a missionary and a mom and that you mentioned specifically conferences, and obviously we're we're going to talk about the SEEK conference. You've been around Focus a long time. You've seen SEEK kind of in every version of it, much smaller than it is now. What have you noticed over the years? What have you seen over the years that makes SEEK especially, really unique and something that Focus has grown to be, I mean, unlike any other conference that I think people get to go to?
Speaker 4:Gosh, yeah, I love SEEK. That's kind of the short answer I would say to your question of what have I seen change the most? I would actually say it's the amount of formation and content that is targeting towards parishioners. Now, that, to me, has been one of the biggest changes that most people, especially college students, probably don't see. On the back end, and for me, my final year is with full time with focus.
Speaker 4:I was working on that parish track and now it's just been remarkable to see being a parishioner now and seeing what that has done for diocese and priests and religious and all the communities that come together in that, I think last year. So we had 20,000 attendees at SEEK last year, but only you know, 13,. Around 13, 14,000 were college students, wow, and so you've got actually 7,000 of attendees who were not college students and who had all these other you know positions and that was the size of my first SEEK at 2012 was 7,000 students, I think. So it's wild to think just in that short period of time, how the conference has molded into not just a conference for college students, which again focus is listening and they're like what it is primarily conference Catholic University students.
Speaker 4:Kelsey, that's the thing, right, I'd say the conference, like we'll always emphasize that and create content for that youthful generation and make sure the topics are relevant and we're hitting that audience. But I think now what we've all seen is and same with the Eucharistic Congress.
Speaker 4:There is a need in our church for families to come together and to experience this transformation in Jesus Christ and to have different talks available for people in all different walks of life. And because when you come together at mass and you're, you see the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of priests walking down and you see just the church at large, you feel on fire. And I've done World Youth Days and I obviously experienced it there. But I would say, at World Youth Day I see just the universality of our church and just how all these countries and all these languages and all these people can come together. We're all Catholic and there's a beauty there, I'd say at Sikh, which is kind of like World Youth Day for the United States, and now actually there are other countries coming, so maybe that's out of the market, but it feels just like a wow, the church is not dying, the church is alive. And here are all these people who I can rally around and among, to then go out after conference and live it and not feel so alone, not feel so weird or not feel I don't know all the lies that we are told or sometimes the realities when we experience our Catholic faith on a day-to-day basis.
Speaker 4:So that's been my experience is, every year I go, I am transformed from some aspect, and when I started having babies, I brought my mom to conference to help with that process and I remember my mom's first seek and she just looks at me, she goes. Well, I know what I'm doing every January for the rest of my life and it was, like you know, my mom's in her 60s and she, she had that experience where she needed more, she wanted to come back for more, and that's what I've seen time and time again. Is that it's. It's so transformative, addictive in a way of like you just want more and keep coming back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's this beautiful mountaintop experience, but it doesn't. It doesn't stay there. I mean, there's certainly like this. Yeah, I would love to the. I got to go to, um, oh, now I got to do some math in my head. Was it seek 22? Yeah, yeah, because it's no seek 23, seek.
Speaker 3:I went with my sister, um, okay, we road tripped because our flights got canceled and it was within driving distance I remember that and it ended up being like this incredible gift that we got essentially 24 hours in the car together because she was leaving for the convent just nine months later. So we got all of this time and we were sitting in the the mass with bishop fernandez, and I looked over at one point and all along the like the back edge of the floor, I'm assuming our, our seek or, excuse me, our focus, missionaries and employees and people who work in the ministry, and there's all these babies like at their feet, and it was. It was my, I snapped a photo of it and I it was just a moment where I was like I just want to capture the fact that families are welcome here. And this is not a mission, this is not a ministry, this is not an apostolate that says, okay, check your family at the door, leave your kids outside.
Speaker 3:Like this is we're being professional. It's like, yes, there's a professionalism, but hey, we could be professional with our children, like our families are a part of all of this. And and I was I was like, instantly, it was the first thing I'd ever really done on a large scale with Focus and I thought, okay, yeah, this is all right. Like they're walking the walk here Like they are absolutely honest in the sense of you know, bring your family. I was visiting with Beth Shree and she was giving me, of all things, advice about what espresso machine to buy and she said, well, yeah, this is the one we bring with us when we road trip to focus events. And I a thousand percent knew she was absolutely telling the truth.
Speaker 3:They road trip to focus events in their big old van and they bring their own espresso machine. Because the whole thing is let's let our families be a part of this, because it's important and because it is necessary to give that witness for our kids. But for all these young adults who get to see family life and I think this year's theme especially kind of hits every age and every generation that's going to be there leaning into this idea of St Joan. You're going back this year, You're speaking this year. What does the theme follow me really mean to you as a mom at this particular moment and as somebody who's involved in this mission?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think following Christ that can mean so many different things depending on where you're at and you looking at Jesus, and I often think of like, okay, what is Jesus asking me today? Like, what does he want me to do today? And so following him on a random Thursday might look different than you know on Sunday, depending on where that is, or um, and and following him in family life looks different, um, because, yeah, the what I mentioned earlier, those sacrifices that you have to make, or the stripping of our selfishness, uh, doesn't always feel great, and so following him doesn't always look like this Sikh experience where we're just living in Catholic jacuzzi land and everything's wonderful and flowers, but it's. It can be really hard and it at times can be lonely If you're, if you're sitting there and you're alone in the adoration chapel, or you're a mom alone with feeding a baby in the middle of the night, or you're. The isolation is the hardest because we're made for relationships, so we're not made for isolation, and there can be times in our vocation or just where the Lord might have us at that time that we are alone physically but not obviously with. The Lord might have us at that time that we are alone physically, but not obviously with the Lord, and so following him is, even in those hard races, following him even then and remembering who he is and what he's there to do, and I think that's what gets me through any of the really, really difficult things.
Speaker 4:There's been so many times at which, most recently, my husband had a back issue. I was pregnant with my fourth and, I think, three months pregnant with my number four. My oldest was three years old at the time and my husband injures his back and so he is just after work every day he has to come up and just lay down for 20 minutes and then, if he does something for a little bit, he has to go back and lay down and I'm like I need your help. Right, you should look at me. And then, when my youngest was seven months old, his injury got worse and he was hospitalized multiple times and finally ended him getting back surgery.
Speaker 4:But there was a seven month period where he couldn't lift anything over 10 pounds and at the time all of my children were over 10 pounds, and so for seven months it felt like being a solo parent, but with my husband, you know, in the preface of being around, and it was really hard and I remember asking Jesus so many times, like here I am following you, what you have called me to do. I felt very convicted of each having these kids at every moment and things like that, but not to be abandoned, jesus, like I feel, like I had done it with the understanding that I would have my partner, my husband, to be able to help me do this. Like I am so alone and kind of angry at him.
Speaker 4:You know, in those ways I am so alone and kind of angry at him. You know, in those ways and that was a huge trial, if you want to call it that where I really had to take all of my years of prayer and all of my conversations with him and all of my other difficult experiences you know, the death of my father, the difficulty of who I can go, I can give a whole list, but all I have to say is I took all of those and I'm like, okay, you were there for me in all those moments. I have to trust that you're going to be there for me now.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 4:I have to follow you now. And and um, it wasn't easy, and every day I don't say I did it perfectly. There were days where I did resist and kind of pouted Um, but then I'd say, overall I got to a place where I was able to put one foot in front of the other and follow the Lord and move through it and I will say my marriage is so much stronger and our family is so much stronger. And not that I would recommend anyone going through that to get to that level of strength, but that would be just a tangible experience of being called and following the Lord at a time when it may not make sense and it might not feel good, but very much worth it, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I love that. I thank you for sharing that with us, because there is a reality at times. You know, we try to talk very honestly on this podcast about the struggles of motherhood and the joys of motherhood, and it might sound almost oxymoronic to say like the struggles lead to joy, but I think we can appreciate the joyful moments of motherhood or we can appreciate the, let's say, the easy moments. There might not be very many of them, but like the easier moments, because we've reflected upon and we've appreciated those moments of struggle and hardship, that like we can only be a joyful mom when we recognize that we made it through a hard time. Or we can only follow willingly when we remember we followed kind of unwillingly for a little while. We kind of dragged, kicking and screaming we are.
Speaker 3:This podcast is going to air on on a couple of different feeds and so I want to make sure we we give you an opportunity to really make the pitch to our audience, to come to SEEK in 2025, to really kick off your year, taking the time to enter into this conference experience. It's unique this year there's two locations on the West Coast and the East Coast. Well, utah is not the West Coast, but it's close enough to the West Coast. We're going to say West and East, right Washington DC or over in Salt Lake City. So so if somebody is listening to this and they're like I've got time and I've got the willingness to go, why should they make the time, make the effort to go to seek this year in one of those locations and invest in their faith in this way?
Speaker 4:Yeah, you, you, you don't realize it until you get there, I would say, because a lot of times the biggest thing I hear is well, I can watch all the talks on seek replay or or down the line. You know at another point and the talks aren't in my opinion why you go um yeah, you can hear those speakers anytime.
Speaker 3:They all have podcasts you, can you can.
Speaker 4:They can be really exciting to go see in live and whatnot, and it does build the experience while you're there, but that shouldn't, in my opinion, be like the main motivator. I think it's just. That's why it's hard. It's hard to put your finger on it. I can ask you the same question, katie. What would you say to this question? Yeah, I, I think, um just being amongst those people. So, for those who haven't been at, there is uh a place, um I'm blanking right now on the name. I don't know why. What is the?
Speaker 3:is it the marketplace tables? Yeah the the hub like.
Speaker 4:It's not the hub lounge, because that's part of the right within me. What is it called? Is it where all the the hub?
Speaker 3:lounge, because that's part of the thing. What is it called Is?
Speaker 4:it where all the booths are.
Speaker 1:It's where all the booths are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've always like the marketplace, the yeah, it's where you go and you like, just like, walk around and see it's Catholic Disneyland, in my opinion, Right.
Speaker 4:So like that's what I think of, because I think if someone thinks about a conference, you're just thinking like being shuffled from one talk to another but they don't like there's. They have, you know, their wisdom, created this, this place, where they have booths and they've brilliantly, you know, sectioned off, like if you want to go meet religious sisters you just there's a section and you just go up and down and you can meet almost every single order.
Speaker 4:Um, you know, at least within the continental US, that you can like have access to and meet them and hear their stories and whatnot. And then there's all the ministries. They've got the summer, the Catholic summer camps, they've got shops. They have like a whole shopping area where all the Catholic shopping like small businesses, and you can go support those Catholic small businesses and artists, all the Catholic artists that are there, and I would say that's where you can really get a glimpse of what you're experiencing at Seek overall, because then those you know, not everyone's at their booth the whole time. They're also all walking around and there's a nun playing cornhole over there with a six-year-old, and then there's there's just musicians on stage at the Hub Lounge. There's a podcast being recorded over here, like you know, your podcast, probably at night, remember yeah, we did our show.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was crazy. It was like one of our first live shows that year in with an audience, and it was wild. You've got a line of people for lunch and then you've got a crowd of people listening to Sirius. Xm is like this is the church. It was great.
Speaker 4:And then they had like a hot pepper eating contest and a priest and nun and it was like a whole thing. You know the conversation when I was working full time and now just being a spouse of some working full time, it's like I heard the conversations of well, we could shorten it. You know, if you shorten it, then it's less expensive and then more people could have access to it. But there is something about the longer multiple day experience because you get immersed in it. And then what? The first day it might be a little jarring. I'm like what is this? And you go to sleep and you wake up the next day and you're like, okay, I, that was a lot, so I'm just going to go to the adoration the 20 verse seven adoration chapel, and you go to there and then you're like, okay, yeah, okay, I'm going to go to mass, whoa, and then you're going to these talks, but then you're just, it becomes a way of life, so that by a couple of days in you're just living life. And then I think what happens is when you come home from that experience, you have this radiating joy within you. It's kind of like we talk about like coals, that they have the ability to be on fire, but then they're fully lit and they're on fire. And then at home you're just going to daily mass. You're, you know, encountering Jesus in adoration or prayer. You're you're praying with your family or by yourself or whatever the Lord is calling you to, and you allow that fire to stay ignited and it just becomes this thing where then maybe you rewatch the talks because it reminds you of your experience and it excites you again.
Speaker 4:You know, I had the'd had the privilege of of emceeing several Sikhs and then, you know, when I was visiting campuses as a missionary, students would see me and freak out. It was the only time I've ever really experienced like Catholic fame.
Speaker 3:You experienced it way more and it's it's disconcerting in every circle, cause it's you're at the conference and people know you, and then you're at the airport and they're like who the heck is this person? You know, you're just another, another warm body.
Speaker 4:I was walking with Father Mike Schmitz and Sarah Swofford through the airport.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that's a whole different level, yeah.
Speaker 4:And we were walking through the airport and everyone was turning no-transcript and I was like, actually no, because I think they're excited because when they see me they think of seek, you know, and they and that that reignites their heart and that like gets them jazzed for Jesus. And so it's not about me, they don't like. That's not why they're excited. They're excited because I represent something that has set their heart on fire and that is so cool.
Speaker 3:So I love that you brought up father Mike, because I am it was. It was at seek, I guess it was 20. Yeah, it was 23. I was supposed to interview him for that live show where I interviewed you and they like texted me minutes before we're about to go live that we were bumping him to the next day because they couldn't bring him into the marketplace, because there was no way that they'd be able to get him in and out, probably without like a swarm. And so then he calls me as soon as the show is done and he's like super apologetic and I was like that's fine, like well, I'll interview you tomorrow. It's like not that big of a deal. We'll bring you to like the secret hidden location and of course people find out where he's gonna be.
Speaker 3:There's like a line of people waiting and we've become good friends over the years and I've asked him many times like does that bother you? Does that? And like he and I've been interrupted before, like having coffee or having a meal, and like people want to take a picture, and he said much the same thing. He was like look, I'm happy to smile for the photo that the person is ready to get, because they listened to me read the Bible to them, or because they heard me say something that like maybe brought them back to the church, like it's actually an honor and it fortunately has never really gone to his head, I think, and that's a that's a good thing too. Like he's got this incredibly humble spirit, but, you're right, it does. Those speakers or those interactions with a podcaster, or even like seeing somebody that's just got a great presence on social media and does a really good job of evangelizing digitally it's a reminder for folks of, oh, like I'm, I'm not alone in the living of this faith.
Speaker 3:Like I think it's in some ways why this, like a mother podcast, works, because it's moms just talking about their motherhood and you feel a little less alone when you hear about it. So I think that's a great pitch of come and immerse yourself in it so that those coals are really on fire when you, when you leave the place. We ask every guest uh, this one final question, um, and I I want to specifically ask it for you this way, you've brought your kids to Seek on many, many occasions.
Speaker 3:Right, they've grown up there. They've seen dad leading music, they've seen mom hosting, they've seen mom speaking. This for them is kind of old hat and also very familiar, which is awesome, because then when they come as college students, they'll be like I've been here since I was a child. Right, I'm a lifer.
Speaker 3:I'm a lifer, I'm a seek lifer, and we're getting to that point where, like I mean, the Shree's kids are probably examples of this. They've grown up going and now they're bringing their own kids. But what do you want your kids to remember about you and this particular phase and part of your life? In this world of focus and of seek Like, what do you want them to remember about you as a mom and these experiences that they're having?
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's a great question, it's a beautiful question. Um, I think ultimately I probably don't do this perfectly, but I would say, like I would love for them, especially in the conversation of seek or mission, that they would know that that my husband and I both, like, do, god willing, great things for the church and for others, but that they feel uniquely invested in and and independently loved in a way that they know like, yeah, that's my mom and she is loving all these people, or speaking to all these people, but like she loves me and who I am, and that individual love, because I think that's such an important element. I think often about this.
Speaker 4:Like so many people, stumbling block to encountering the Lord is is from, maybe, a wounded relationship with their own parents in some way, and that I mean maybe that puts pressure on us as parents, like, oh my gosh, if we fail, that doesn't mean that they're not going to ever encounter Jesus. That's a lie. But I do think there is something to be said of trying not to be the stumbling block, like if I can love my children and be a small example of what Christ's love is, a small piece of, like the immense ocean of love that Christ has for them, ocean of love that Christ has for them, and he loves us so individually. He's not just like in the clouds, being like I love all of you Christian children.
Speaker 4:He's like no, I love you Kelsey, I love you Katie. And I have to reflect on that often because it's hard to feel like that when you feel isolated or alone. And so, yeah, that's just. My hope of my kid is like yeah, I want them to see us serving the church, I want them to take on that spirit of hospitality and evangelization and mission. But more than that, I want them to feel individually loved by me as their mom. That's beautiful.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. I had a moment at the Eucharistic Congress. I'd just gotten off stage, I was exhausted and rose and claire and tommy come like running up to me at the little connector piece in between lucas oil stadium and um, the convention center, and rose, she went you're really good up there, mom and like it's like as if, like she's like this old hat host who like knows how these things go. It's like as if, like she's like this old hat host who like knows how these things go. And I couldn't help but laugh because, like she could, it could have been 10 people, it could have been 10,000 people, like she was. She was just like proud of her mom and and knew that like at the end of the day I was just going to go fix her a hot dog in the concession stand and like it was.
Speaker 3:It was that very personal extrapolation of doesn't matter to you that that was like the biggest moment of my career. Like you just are, like you did a good job up there. I'm hungry, can we go get lunch and I'm sure your kids are certainly going to. I, I, I, I think it's. It's a real gift what you and your husband are doing and the way that you serve the church in this way, and I'm so grateful that you're sharing it with us. Where can people follow you, kelseysey? Where can they see the great work that you're doing, hire you to speak and uh and meet you at the seek conference this year?
Speaker 4:of course um. So if you want for speaking, if you're interested, my website kelseyskokecom, instagram. Kelseyskoke um. Haven't figured out the tiktok game yet oh, it's a chinese sign up.
Speaker 3:Don't go on there anyway it's shutting down anyway, okay I think that's the one thing the government did this year. That was good.
Speaker 4:Um, so yeah, I'd say Instagram and my website. Uh, you can contact me and even if you have any questions or want to talk more, those are the greatest places. Uh, you had one more question with that. What was that?
Speaker 3:Uh, how can they support you and your husband in your focus? Oh?
Speaker 4:um, supporting us. Uh, I mean my husband still, we still live on fundraised salary and so you're welcome to to help support there. But, um, ultimately your prayers is is the greatest need of that we're. We're doing what the Lord is calling us to each and every day and in what we're doing. And, um, yeah, I think seek is just a great opportunity for all of our worlds to collide, where I can speak and he can play music and we see his missionaries and his students and I was like we can all words collide. But you know, when you're doing mission and you're doing maybe in a separate way, like you know, oftentimes I go and give talks and he goes and praise music um, at different events it's separated. So just pray for our unity, pray for our ability to kind of live that unity each and every day in our marriage.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, kelsey. Thanks so much for taking the time. I really appreciate it. I appreciate you, katie. I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 3:My daughter, rose, was born in August of 2017. And literally four weeks to the day after we brought her home from the hospital, I had a conference in Houston. Now, in hindsight, I absolutely know I should have never agreed to that, but at the time, you know, never having done motherhood before, I had agreed to it many, many months before she was born. And so Tommy and I found ourselves loading up the car and driving two and a half hours down the interstate with a newborn baby in the back, and I had keynote two workshops and then a Holy Spirit Empower session to lead. And by the Saturday night of this young adult conference in Houston, rose clearly was just missing her mama and I was missing her. I mean, she was a newborn, I still hadn't fully healed, and so I put Rose into this baby wrap sling and was wearing her against my chest during the time of empowerment. And there's this photo I have it framed on my desk and I look at it all the time of me standing alongside now Bishop Joe Esbayette from the Archdiocese of New York, and the two of us are standing there and he's in his cassock, preparing to, of course, process with the Blessed Sacrament around the room, and I'm there, wearing Rose against my chest, this beautiful snapshot of our vocations.
Speaker 3:In that moment, and I remember thinking to myself right then and there, that, yeah, it was absolutely, 100% a mistake to bring a newborn to a conference, that I had to do all this speaking at praise God for my husband, but also what a privilege that my kids could grow up in a world where gatherings like this are a part of our lives and, yes, for me it's from a ministry perspective more often than not but that there's this opportunity that we as a church have, in a very unique way, to be in the same place, to worship, to learn to celebrate, to give a profound, visible witness to the world of a faith that cannot be contained. I cannot say this enough. The SEEK conference is such a gift to our church. People from literally all over the world come to be in a place that you know is different and for a few days, the outside busyness and chaos and noise of life settles. So that you can focus on Jesus, so that you can be around people who want the very best for you heaven, so that you can focus on Jesus, so that you can be around people who want the very best for you. Heaven, so that you can learn from those who are pursuing holiness themselves and are skilled in being able to articulate that. What I love is that over the years, as the conference has grown and transformed yes, it's college students, but it's also parishioners, moms and dads, old and young alike, people who just love Jesus, who want to seek the truth hence the name together and pursue holiness and run the race together, little ones to old ones and everyone in between.
Speaker 3:And if you're a mom who is wondering, okay, well, this was a crossover episode, a collaboration between Focus and Our Sunday Visitor Cool, great. Let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Let me just simply say this from the bottom of my heart as a mom bringing our children to things like SEEK, making sure that our kids, even when they're little or in their adolescence, or as they're discerning where they want to go to college, my goodness, you might be a mom in her 50s or her 60s and your kids are grown and you've got the college student who heard about SEEK but hasn't signed up yet. Or maybe you're the grandma whose young kids are raising little kids of their own, and so you can be the one who picks up the phone and calls and says we should go to this as a family, that the SEEK conference is an opportunity as a family and you as a mom can be a leader in bringing people to not just some other conference but to go to a place where the Spirit moves, to go to an event that is so much more than just go to the thing because the thing is fun but is a moment in the life of the church to really kick off the year with a focus on Jesus, but to also just dive deeper into this faith that we cherish so much.
Speaker 3:I have this remarkable privilege of getting to go to a lot of these events and it's kind of become a rule in our family life that our kids come to these events with me at least a couple of times a year. We brought them to the Eucharistic Congress this past summer times a year. We brought them to the Eucharistic Congress this past summer. We make sure that they go and they see not just the places I'm speaking or where I'm doing shows, but that we get to, as a family, attend and participate and engage in these moments because it's life-giving for all of us.
Speaker 3:Kelsey spoke so beautifully about the way that you know she's watched this conference grow over the years and what it's done for her and what this year's theme means for her, and I think every mom, every woman, every person who's at the conference, who's at the event, will experience something very similar, but in their own way, and what a gift.
Speaker 3:That is something to truly cherish. So we would encourage you to learn more about the SEEK conference, to learn more about the great work that FOCUS does. We've got links down in the show notes so you can register for the conference, so you can learn about these missionaries and all the great work that they're doing and everything that FOCUS has to offer. They've got a wealth of resources for parishes and for college students and for anyone who's pursuing the truth. But I would encourage you to really pray about okay, where can I go, where can I gather? Maybe it's the SEEK conference this January, but where can we as a family really go to dive deeper and to invest in our faith in a new way, and how can we be transformed by that? I absolutely think that there's great benefit to that and I would encourage you to consider it.
Speaker 2:This has been a production of OSV Podcasts. To learn more, visit osvpodcastscom.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us for this episode. We hope you learned something and encountered Christ in some way. If you enjoy what we do, please subscribe and share this podcast with a friend. This helps us reach more people with and for Christ. Until next time, this is John Michael Peace.
